Ode to Blue Jeans

Oh 30-S
Boy Style
Relaxed Fit
Denim
Let's go out for a walk
It's been awhile
And You and I
My friend
Are overdue
For a talk

We met
In the GAP
4 years back.
We insulted each other
From the start.
"You're fat,"
You derided
And silently chided
With a nod to the
Skinny girl's cart

"You're on sale," 
I sneered,
"And a little too blue.
You're lucky
I tried you at all."
And so it began
My friend and
My fiend
My go-to
For winter and Fall.

For years we
bonded
Over T-shirts and
Sweaters
Like 7th grade girls
At the dance
We swapped secrets
And letters
And I'll love you forevers
And our image
We mutually
Enhanced.

Until . . .

The day
arrived
I was with CHILD!
You'd think
You'd be
ecstatic.
But instead
All I heard
was a gasp and a moan
And a button
That made your feelings
Emphatic.

So I hid you
In the back
With the dorky
Khaki slacks
And tried to ignore
Your gloating:
"You'll never wear me again,
I always knew I'd win!"
You said to my .
Waist -
Ever-bloating.

Well,
I've got news for you,
My 30-S Blues:
Turns out that
You were wrong.
'Cause that's my
Hiney you're wearing
Oh - don't you go swearing
Or hiding
Against
My thong.

I'm well within
My rights
To reject you
For spite.
It's me that's the miracle maker
I housed a new being
So it's you
I'll be seeing
Off to the next
Thrift store taker.